Monday, October 31, 2011

Life Reports

This morning David Brooks of the New York Times asked his readers over 70 for a gift. He asked them/us to send him brief "life reports" on our lives so far, an evaluation of what we did well, of what we did not so well and what we learned along the way.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/28/opinion/brooks-the-life-report.html.

He plans to write a couple columns around Thanksgiving using the "gifts" that show up. I thought about it all morning and couldn't resist the challenge. Here's mine:

"Dear David:

My wife and I were drinking lattes in a Saigon coffeehouse when we read your column requesting brief life reports from people over 70. My first question was how could I possibly write a brief report on 74 years of careening around the globe? The answer is I can’t but I’m willing to take a crack at it.

All in all I feel very satisfied with my life. I would like to have made a bigger difference in the lives I’ve touched, but I’ve come to accept that positive change comes in small increments like compound interest over the long term. It’s never a straight line and there are often serious setbacks, but in the big picture sense I see myself as a long term optimist but a short term pessimist. For the past 2 ½ years I’ve been working in Saigon for East Meets West Foundation, a humanitarian aid NGO that is working to improve the lives of disadvantaged people in SE Asia. This is on the heels of a jagged career path that included being a Marine Corps fighter pilot, lawyer, Pan Am pilot, restaurant owner, lawyer again, non-profit manager and now development director at EMW. My parents would likely have said I can’t hold on to a job, but I’ve loved the path that took me from Seattle to Quantico, Pensacola, Orange County, Berkeley, Los Angeles, New York, St. Tropez, San Francisco, Berlin, Miami, Sun Valley, Salt Lake City and back to Seattle before taking on this job in Saigon. Some of the changes and places were volitional and some were dictated by health, furlough, or other circumstances, but, as I’ve told my children, “keep your eyes and ears open; you never know where the next opportunity is going to come from.”

Family has always been important to me, but my choices have created some chaos. I had a brief marriage when I was still a child myself and then I was married for 25 years to a smart and talented artist who was a good mother to our kids but my restlessness did us in too. I love and am proud of my kids, but our relationships have been strained at times and I’ve come to believe that you can never truly know or understand either your parents or your children. You just love them and hope that in their hearts they know it. 13 years ago I reconnected with a childhood friend, we married, and now she is sharing this adventurous life. We’re both in our 70’s and know that life is fragile and can’t be guaranteed. We’re both still healthy and try to live as fully as possible with good friends, family, adventure bike travel, good books, good food, and some good works thrown in.

Faith is a tough one. I flirted with evangelical Christianity in college, Buddhism in mid-life and the smells and bells of the Episcopal church later on. Fundamentalism is spoiling the stew for everyone now, but I will continue to observe the faith as an Episcopalian because it’s in the mainstream of my Western heritage. If I were Eastern or Middle Eastern I might honor the mystery in another way. It might sound wishy-washy but I think it’s important to acknowledge and honor the mystery and as someone from the West this seems the best way for me.

Self-knowledge? I can’t say for sure, but I think I know myself better now than I did when my wife and I met at age 10. I’ve always been pretty independent and not been guided by other people’s needs, desires or expectations. I’ve experienced joy, caused pain, shared the wealth, stayed engaged and been very, very, lucky. I have never given much thought to retirement. I’m wrapping up my full time work in Saigon and next year I will only spend one or two months in Vietnam. I’m excited to have time to devote to other interests, but I don’t think of it as retirement. I’m sure I’ll be actively engaged on a number of fronts. 2 ½ years ago a friend of mine in DC told me “Jack, you’ve found the secret to a fulfilling retirement – another good job.” That’s my story.

This is our picture taken in April.

Sidebar: We wanted to meet you at the Sun Valley Writer’s Conference in August. We were volunteers at the Pavilion and excited to hear your presentation. We bought your book, but I’m not much for standing in lines and you were swamped when you finished. We’re died in the wool liberals but read your column religiously. We think you must be the last real conservative in America. It must be lonely.

Regards,

Jack"

Monday, October 24, 2011

Shouldn't You Be In School?

This girl is selling coconuts on the street near the Opera House in downtown Saigon. My guess is that she is 12 or 13. She's there every day. I see kids like her all over town. Some are working in street cafes. Some are selling lottery tickets. Some are hawking postcards. Some want to shine my flip-flops. Some want me to buy Chiclets. The question that always comes to mind is "Why aren't you in school?" The reason is simple; her family needs whatever she can make to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.

East Meets West has a scholarship program designed to help keep kids like her stay in school. SPELL (Scholarship Program to Enhance Literacy and Learning) is providing scholarships for more than 4500 students from the most impoverished families in Vietnam. These scholarships are incredible. Once the student is selected for the program, he or she is guaranteed a scholarship from the 6th grade through high school that includes tuition, fees, books, uniforms, mandatory tutoring, and a bicycle. No, education is not free in Vietnam. It costs roughly $150 a year to cover the cost of these items - minus the bicycle - and poor families simply can't afford it. The reason SPELL starts in the 6th grade is that there isn't much dropout in the lower grades, but at about age 11 or 12 the kids are big enough to help the family by contributing their labor. SPELL aims to help the families keep the kids in school where, if they hang in and graduate, there is a chance for a better life.
I pass this little guy, his sister or his mother every morning at 8 on my way to the office. They take turns working this cart, selling overripe bananas. I've never seen anyone buy anything from them but they are there every day. I wonder why he, too, isn't in school but the answer is clear - his family needs his labor just to get by.

A friend of mine started the SPELL program in 2005. He was on a walking tour of Vietnam and he kept seeing kids like these and asking his guide why they weren't in school. The guide told him their families couldn't afford it. He asked how much it would cost and the guide told him $35/year. On the spot he said he wanted to underwrite 1000 kids. It turned out to be a little more complicated and a little more expensive, but there were a lot of after-market additions like tutoring and bicycles. Nevertheless, the program was born at that moment. The first group of scholarship recipients graduates this year and a new program, SPELL Goes to College is in the works.

A dollar goes a long way in Vietnam, and 4500 students are going to get a chance at a better life because of it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

What's with the Hoodie? It's 90 degrees!!


Southern Vietnam has two seasons - hot and dry and hot and wet. We are supposed to be moving to the dry season in October but no one has told the gods and they are still punishing us with rain. Nevertheless, wet or dry, I like hot. It takes little adjustments sometimes, but I like it a lot more than being cold. Yesterday I played tennis at noon in 90/90 conditions (90 degrees and 90% humidity). I drank two bottles of Revive and a quart of water but the tennis was OK and it got me out from behind the computer screen.

The south is always hot but there are some temperature control strategies here that leave me bewildered. In 2007 riding my bike from Dalat to Nha Trang I passed a woman wearing a puffy pink quilted ski parka crossing the road in front of me. I nearly crashed the bike turning around to check her out. What's the deal? It's over 90F and she has on a down parka zipped to the neck. I still have the picture etched in my memory and the why of it lingering in my RAM.

It's still a mystery, but now that I've lived here awhile I realize she is just an extreme version of something I see every day. Vietnamese women are prized for their light skin and fine features. These qualities make them targets for trafficking in other parts of Asia where skin tones are darker and features coarser. The culture values these two physical characteristics. Vietnamese women are truly among the world's most beautiful. But, one of the first things you notice about the traffic here, after you get over the volume, chaos, and sound is that every woman on every motorbike is wearing a face mask. My assumption was that they were just smarter than the men and wanted protection from the auto emissions. I'm sure that has something to do with it, but then I noticed something else. A significant number of these women are totally covered. It's not just their faces that are covered but any and all skin is hidden from the sun. No skin is visible. In the morning and evening commuter traffic many of these women wear long gloves that cover to the shoulder and stockings of the same ugly cream colored nylon that cover their feet and ankles.

The final element in the great Vietnamese cover-up is the hoodie. Hard to figure but, yes, they wear heavy cotton sweatshirts with hoods. Not only do they wear sweatshirts in 90F, but they are zipped to the neck with the hoods up and a helmet on top. Not a square millimeter of skin is exposed. I guess the hood protects the neck from getting any sun, but man does it look hot. It's a very good lesson in cultural anthropology. I think of the Swedes and other northerners who travel great distances to take their clothes off and face the sun. I think of the Muslim cultures who have ritualized cover up strategies and added a religious component to their violation. The Vietnamese are somewhere in the middle. I'm just having trouble with the hoodie. How about SPF 50?

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Cautionary Tale



I've written about motorbikes before. There are 6,000,000 of them in Saigon. They are everywhere - on the street, on the sidewalk, in the lobbies of buildings, and on the ground floor of most houses. Not just some motorbikes, millions of them. You are conscious, every minute, of their presence. Right now I'm in my apartment but the sound of motorbikes passing is in the room with me. They are noisy, quiet, dirty, clean, sleek, clunky, fast and slow. They are used for personal transport, pizza delivery, FedEx and DHL, taxi service, family transport (up to 5 on one bike), furniture delivery (I've seen 10 twin bed mattresses weaving down the street at 6am), livestock delivery (trussed inverted pigs or 30 dead chickens hanging by their scrawny necks), police patrols, mail, grocery, fast-food, flower, and window glass delivery. Almost any function is and can be performed by motorbike - including larceny and battery.

Traffic is chaotic. Bikes drive on both sides of the road and on the sidewalk wherever there is an opening. They swerve between cars and turn in front of them. I've seen them run red lights at full speed across blind corners early in the morning. There is some order to it, but it's difficult to discern exactly how it works. Sometimes it doesn't and sometimes there are tragic consequences. Last week a friend of a friend's 6 year old daughter was killed in Hanoi when a taxi rear-ended the mother and two daughters on their way home from school. The mother may lose her foot. The taxi driver made a run for it but was stopped by a couple of other cars at the next traffic light. More often than not they get away and leave the motorbike driver lying in the street. It's the law of the jungle.

The more common crime, on the increase in Saigon, is purse or computer snatching. It's not new. When we moved here we were warned to be careful and always carry a purse or computer on the building side when walking or with the strap across your body on a motorbike. I don't know if it is the global recession or something else but purse snatching is on the rise now and sometimes it too has awful consequences. It usually works this way: two men on a bike spot a woman walking or riding with a purse hanging from her shoulder. They will pass slowly to case the job and then do a U-turn and make their run. The second guy on the bike grabs the purse or in some cases cuts the strap and they're off. It doesn't take much imagination to see the consequences. The best outcome is a clean snatch and run. The worst is that the victim is pulled off the bike and dragged down the street.

Our friend, Kaci (many Vietnamese working with foreigners take Western names to make it easier for us to remember) had her purse snatched a couple of years ago. She was riding on the back of a xe-om, a motorbike taxi, when it happened. Her bag was strapped across her body and the thieves didn't make a clean job of it. Kaci was thrown off the bike and dragged a ways until the thieves could free the bag. She was knocked unconscious and bleeding from a head injury. The xe-om driver stopped and went back to help. Eventually, he got her into a taxi, left his own bike and took her to the hospital - still unconscious. She had no ID because her purse was gone and no one knew who she was or who to call. She might have died because her brain was swelling, but doctors administered drugs immediately that kept the swelling down. The xe-om driver stayed with her until 8am the following morning when she recovered consciousness. By some miracle she was able to remember her mother's phone number although most of her short term memory was gone. She doesn't remember anything about the accident. She ended up with 8 stiches in her scalp and was kept in the hospital for a month until she recovered her memory. In the end she had to quit her job as a sales rep for Remy Martin because it was unsafe for her to drink alcohol (part of her job) following the accident. She's fine now and has a new job, but it might have ended like the 6 year old girl in Hanoi.

We have another friend who was walking and whose handbag strap was cut. This time the thieves didn't get it because she was holding on tight. A Vietnamese-American friend of mine lost his MacBook Pro the second day he was in town. Same modus - two guys on a bike, quick turnaround, snatch and run. My friend speaks fluent Vietnamese and went to the police station to file a report. He didn't imagine that they would get the computer back for him but he needed the report for his insurance company. They asked him to fill out the report and come back the next day to pick up a copy. He did, but the next day they "couldn't remember" him filling out the report. They asked him to fill out another one. In the end their message was "You're a rich American. You deserved to lose it. You should have known better." He never got the report he needed from them, but one of the guys in his office has a friend in the police department who happily provided one.

Holidays are the worst time for petty crime. At Tet, lunar new year, Vietnamese need to take a gifts to their families. If they don't have the means they might just snatch a purse. Be cautious. Be aware. And, don't expect the police to help. But for the right price you can get almost anything even help from the police...